


To Us

by hamilwhaaa



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Angst, F/M, M/M, dick boi alex, southern boi john
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-02
Updated: 2017-02-02
Packaged: 2018-09-21 16:01:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9556208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hamilwhaaa/pseuds/hamilwhaaa
Summary: "...I guess I was just stupid,” John paused to wipe the tears off of his freckled cheeks and take a deep breath, “Like really stupid...."





	

**Author's Note:**

> woo, okay so since chapter 8 of [In The Eye of a Hurricane](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8645275/chapters/19827091) is taking so long here's a short Lams fic that I posted on [my tumblr](http://dioptics.tumblr.com/) a while back!

Alexander was having the time of his life, he truly couldn’t have been happier.  It was the day of his wedding and he had just married his soulmate, Eliza, hours earlier. He was now at the reception, surrounded by his friends, his new family and his new wife. He had been wandering about for quite a while now, accepting congratulations and laughing off awkward comments about having children, but now he found himself next to some of his closest friends, Lafayette, Herc, and John. He grabbed a seat at the bar between Lafayette and John, another round of drinks was quickly ordered for the four.

“Raise a glass to freedom!” Lafayette elbowed Alexander in the side and said in a lower voice, “Something you will never see again!”

Alexander let out a quiet chuckle before Herc quickly added,

“No matter _what_ she tells you!”

They all downed their drinks in unison and almost immediately after John ordered another round.

“Whoa, I think we can wait just a minute,” Alexander laughed as he grabbed John’s arm, which had already picked up the next beer.

John yanked himself free and chugged down his drink, raising concerned expressions from his friends.

“Hey! Lighten up!” John’s words were hardly comprehensible through his heavy slurring, but he was able to signal the bartender to get him yet another drink. He thrusted the glass into the air, sloshing beer everywhere and locked eyes with Alexander.

“Raise a glass to the four of us!” He finished his drink off in one gulp, not having realized that no one had raised their glass along with him. John’s head fell, he had tears forming in his eyes now, but no one could see, the tears that did escape his eyes just mixed with the beer that he had spilled on the table earlier.

“Well, the three of us really,” The rest of the men could barely hear John, but they did hear him. “Since Alexander’s gone and got hitched and all.” John’s southern accent was thick like it always was when he was drunk, but unlike always, the rest of his friends didn’t want to tease him about it. They were all hushed, awaiting John’s next words.

“Which, is weird when you think about it because, I don’t know if you guys know,” He motioned to Herc and Lafayette, “But, Alex once promised that he’d marry me.”

Alexander’s breath caught in his throat and the other men turned to face him.

“John-” Alexander could say his name and nothing more before the man himself interrupted.

“No, Alex, for once just don’t say anything, _please,”_ Alexander said nothing which seemed to be the answer that John was looking for.

“Thanks, I jus-just need to get something off my chest, because you never let me do that y’know Alex. You’d always shut me up somehow, I mean some ways were better than others, but I _never_ got to talk. So, here it is,” Everyone was tense, taking shifty glances between Alexander and John, unsure of what John was going to confess. John sat up straighter, his eyes were still glassy but his words weren’t slurring as much, the effects of the alcohol seemed to be letting up for the most part.

“I _love_ you Alex, like I’m _in love with you_ , and I-I thought you loved me too y’know, I thought, somehow that we’d grow old together, maybe even have kids, _a family_ , but I guess I was just stupid,” John paused to wipe the tears off of his freckled cheeks and take a deep breath, “Like _really stupid_ , like what the fuck was I thinking stupid!”

Alexander reached out and placed his hand on John’s shoulder, “No John, you weren’t stupid, you aren’t-“ John shook out of Alex’s grasp suddenly.

“No, you don’t get to do that! You don’t get to just act like _you_ didn’t do this! You said you wanted to convince me that you loved me, and _fuck_ , you did! But that’s all you did! _You convinced me._ You never really loved me did you?” The entire group had been stunned into silence, some of the other guests had even turned to listen in, but John continued still. “So was our whole story a set up? Is this the outcome that you _wanted_?”

Tears were flowing freely from John by now and he had stood up so he could be a few inches above Alex. Alexander had tears brimming in his eyes, but he stayed silent, he stayed focused on John’s words.

“I just don’t understand why Alex, after everything, you just left, so, _why?”_ John’s eyes pleaded with Alexander’s. He wanted the truth, he wanted something, a reason, an explanation, but nothing came. Alexander remained silent. In the one moment it mattered most, he didn’t say a thing.

The quiet was interrupted when Aaron Burr walked up to the bar.

“Aaron Burr, sir!” Alexander broke his silence and John stared at him in disbelief, he wondered how Alex could just change the subject like he had.

Aaron could sense that he had barged in on an important conversation, “I should go.”

“No, these guys should go,” Alexander shot a look to Lafayette.

“What?” Lafayette’s French accent was heavy, but it was impossible to miss the shock and confusion laced in the question.

“Leave us alone-“ Alexander didn’t need to say anything more, his friends stood up from the bar, leaving him alone with Aaron before he could finish his sentence.

Aaron went on to talk about a girl he’d met, but Alexander didn’t catch a word of it. He was drowned in thoughts of John, the time they’d spent together, the love they had shared, and most of all, the answer to his question.

Alexander wondered if he’d ever get to tell John.


End file.
